Two teenage girls in Mumbai hang themselves over perceived academic failure. A third year Indian Institute of Technology student jumps in front of a train after writing his exams. Another one commits suicide because her parents did not allow her to g et wet in the rain. And, there is the 18-year-old boy who threatens to kill himself if his parents don’t send him abroad to study. What has the world come to?
The pressure to achieve, unrealistic expectations and indulgent parents are just some of the reasons driving teenagers to take that extreme step.
Diverse reasons
The number of teenage suicides is steadily rising in developing countries and psychiatrists point a finger at reasons as diverse as social issues, stress of modern life, inter-personal problems, stress of failure in exams, disappointments in love and marriage, disciplinary issues, gender discrimination and humiliation by peers.
Blame it all on adolescence, the shortest phase in one’s life, says Dr. M. Thirunavukkarasu, National president elect of Indian Psychiatric Society. “This phase begins when they are 14 and lasts for five years. So, there is a time constraint to achieve, and because of this, the pressure mounts,” he adds.
Increased per capita income, the emergence of the nuclear family and the one-kid norm has brought everything within easy reach of teenagers. When someone wants to own the costliest mobile phone, he gets it.
“Because of such indulgences, they are not prepared to take any hostility or criticism from the outside world. As a result, they suffer from low self-esteem, and consider suicide to escape from the situation. Some teenagers attempt suicide to manipulate and get what they want,” says psychiatrist Ponni Muralidharan.
Thirunavakkarasu says a suicide attempt is a cry for help to handle pressure, be it in education or in relationships.
“They don’t want to die; they just want betterment in their lives or a change in their lifestyle. Even among students, the pressure is among those who are expected to score high.,” he says. It is during such tumultuous times that an identity crisis crops up in teenagers. And the parents, peer groups and teachers have a big role to play in helping teenagers outgrow this situation.
Says P.V. Sankaranarayanan, director of helpline service Sneha, whose suicide prevention helpline (044-24640050) counsels teenagers: “We received 500 calls from students in 20 days after the Matriculation and Higher Secondary results were out.” To help adolescents identify, and deal with stress, Sneha conducts sessions on stress management and emotional well-being at various schools in Chennai, every year, from June.
“Teenagers have difficulty in relationships with parents, peers and teachers. They also face physical problems, and issues of bullying and ragging. Problems affect them at the psychological, emotional and physical levels,” he adds.
What is required is openness between parents and children. Take them into confidence and assure them that you are there for them when they need you. Making the child aware of the family’s financial situation is also vital.
Says Anju Kuruvilla, associate professor of Psychiatry, Christian Medical College (CMC), Vellore, which has conducted several studies on teenage suicides, “ A large percentage of suicides in the country, and in Tamil Nadu, is due to socio-economic reasons and stress; not due to mental illness as in the West. Previously, the risk was only in the older age group. Now, it includes teenagers and young women.
Lately, suicide is being seen as a solution to a problem.”
Dr. Pratap Tharyan of CMC says letting teenagers know the consequences of a suicide attempt also helps them stay away from it.
“Because, in youth, it is usually an impulsive act. Regular counselling sessions to deal with the pressure, through channels such as Sneha, SHGs and school counsellors also help,” he adds.
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SOME TIPS
Treat them as grown-ups
Be a good friend
Have realistic expectations
Help them take decisions
Listen to them completely
Focus on their interests
Accept them unconditionally
Give them hope when they face failures
Address their emotional problems
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